Crystalline

My head has been reeling as of late.  Complete sentences have escaped me.

Somehow my photos showed up all weird and processed on Blogger.  Initially I thought about fixing it, but the more I look at it the more I like it this way...

My whole world has just felt like a roller coaster.  Feelings of pure joy, deep sorrow, holiness, shame, acceptance, embarrassment...I could go on, but I'll spare the people of the internet.  Recently I have felt more like myself than I ever have, yet so unlike myself that it's almost haunting.

I've been in pursuit of grace, trying to unearth what it really means to me.  Yesterday, as I was greeting my kids coming in for class, one of the little boys (we'll call him Linus) showed wisdom far beyond his years.  He said,

"Mom, I was just thinking about how great it is to be alive.  Don't you think so, too?"

I think I found a sliver of grace.

Unfortunately, I'm finding that the older I get the more focus people put on the unimportant.  I'd rather spend my days with Linus, discussing the joys of life, than trying to fit in with my peers, who seem to have an immense fear of anything or anyone different.

I really believe, in all the muck and yuck of the everyday, that it truly is great to be alive.  I hope I never lose sight of that.

*xo*

Mind's Eye

It must be the season of ideas.

Peace.

I am not here.

From  Kilmacduagh, somewhere in the countryside of Ireland

I stumbled across this while wandering through a cemetery during a school trip to Ireland a few years ago.  When I experienced the words for the first time, my whole world was kind of thrown off its axis. I'm not going to write any commentary on what it says; talking too much about death (I refuse to use euphemisms) can get uncomfortable.  I just want to post it as an offering to the internet.  It's meant to be a food for thought that, hopefully, affects those who read it in an uplifting way.  That's all.

Peace, Amelia 

Still Water

It's so easy to become stagnant.  In order to keep up, I've somehow managed to turn my life into a large body of still water.

Water that sits dormant doesn't take long before it becomes undrinkable.  Without a steady inflow of the fresh and purging of the contaminated, the largest support system for life on this Earth can become poison.

I don't want to be like still water.  I want to sustain life, not destroy it.  Life(noun): an organismic state characterized by a capacity for metabolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction.

Growth.

In order to continue to grow, I'm giving myself two words to strive for.  It's not a New Year thing.  Resolutions never work for me.  No, they encompass so much more than a simple checklist.  They make fulfilling a to-do list possible.  They are a journey.  One I can't wait to begin.

Patience

&

Vulnerability

xoxo