Brought to you by the letter *S*

This week may have been sniffly and sneezy and slightly stressful,

but at least I have snazzy and shiny shoes!

Happy Halloween!

Jellicle

A terrible snapshot of a perfect feline.

~A~

choices

One of my acting professors had two favorite phrases he would rattle off to us on the daily.  He used these expressions to teach us about acting, but they somehow managed to be perfect as general life wisdom [he probably did this on purpose...he had a way of doing that].

The first of these was "It's all about choices."

Man, how true is that?  Every day is filled with good and lousy people and events; I have no choice in that.  But I do have a choice in the how I behave, the words I say and the thoughts I dwell on.

Today, my choices will made with gratefulness in mind.

~xo~

Seek the light.

In an effort to get out of my recent negative funk, I was inspired by Delightfully Tacky's "Life Lately" posts to create one of my own.  Only I put my own spin on it and made mine all about acknowledging and letting go.

So, I am currently...

• Frustrated with...my current state in limbo.  I'm at a weird point in my life where I'm not going to classes anymore, so I don't have to answer to professors.  But I'm not completely out of school yet, so my life is still dictated by school.  I feel like if I weren't floating in the middle, I would be able to take charge of my own life and get to a place where I am happy.

• Upset about...missing yet another Halloween.  This kind of relates to my lack of choices.  I have to work all day on Halloween, and my workplace doesn't allow any outward celebration of the holiday for PR purposes.  I have so many fun costumes planned in my head, but they're going to have to stay there for at least another year.

• Trying to...gain patience.  I've been so stressed [and sleep deprived] lately that any little thing completely throws me out of whack.  I'm trying to accept my position and realize that it will all be over with in May.

• Excited about...the weather.  It may sound trivial, but it's so nice to at least have a beautiful day to look out on.  Plus, so many baked goods and drinks taste better when it's cold!

• Thankful for...my LoveDove.  He is the most amazing person I know.  He has this magical way of knowing exactly how to make my day better.  He is also one of the most patient people I've ever been around.  I'm in awe of how he puts up with me sometimes. 

• Looking forward to...the Christmas season.  This is the one holiday I have guaranteed days off [in which I will relish!].  I've also started my Christmas lists for my loved ones, and I'm beyond excited for some of the things I have planned!

That was, surprisingly, extremely therapeutic.  I just need to remember how temporary my situation is and focus on what's positive in my life.

Peace,

Amelia

Pour a Little Salt

No words today.  Just an image.

Cracked

I may or may not have cried today when I realized that not only will I not be able to participate in any Halloween festivities [for the third year in a row...], but I also might not be able to be with my family for Thanksgiving.  Halloween and Thanksgiving are my most favorite of holidays [even more than Christmas].  They're all about family and warm feelings.  They're completely devoted to food.  They're the reason I love fall as much as I do.  I'm trying to look at the bright side, but I don't see one.

What a post of gloom.

Warm Dr. Pepper: A Guide

I've had the flu all this week, which was the worst.  I love cold weather, but I hate the ailments it brings with it.  However, being sick isn't so bad when you have loved ones that smother you with love and treats.  My Dove introduced to me his favorite sick day treat, which has now become my favorite sick day treat...so I guess it's our sick day treat now!  :)  It's really so beyond simple that even a yucky, germy sick-o like myself can make it.  So, here goes!

You will need:

Lemon & Dr. Pepper...that's it!  I told you it was simple.  ;)

Pour your Dr. Pepper into a saucepan and heat over low to medium-low heat.  The idea here is to warm the Dr. Pepper, not cook it.  Otherwise, it becomes a sticky syrupy solution, which would be great for other things but not this.

While that's heating up, slice off a bit of your lemon and throw it in the bottom of whatever glass/mug you're going to use.  There's quite a bit of Dr. Pepper in a can, so it'll need to be pretty big.

*Optional Step* Let your Dr. Pepper get a little too hot because you're too busy photographing your fluffy piggie slippers that the weather finally permits you to wear!

When your Dr. Pepper has reached that perfect warm state (think apple cider), pour it into your glass/mug over the lemon.  Once it reaches a drinkable temperature, enjoy!

While this may not have cured my flu, it sure did give me the warm fuzzies all inside.  Dove was out of town for work most of this week.  When I was feeling overly icky from being sick and missing him, I'd just fix this up for myself and feel so much better.  This drink, with some kitty cuddles and some Bon Iver (Skinny Love...I die), and I'm all better!  Hope this helps some of you out there, too!  I'd love to know, what are some of your favorite sick day treats?

Peace & Warm Feelings

Human Beans

The First Wives Club [*sidebar: Have you seen it?  If not, go find it right now.  Goldie Hawn.  Bette Midler.  Diane Keaton.  In the 90s.  Pure genius!] spoke to me in an existential way this evening through none other than the glamorous and flighty Elise Elliot:

You think that because I'm a movie star I don't have feelings.

Well you're wrong.  I'm an actress.

I've got all of 'em!

It's a hilarious line, but it struck a chord somewhere in me.  The reason I'm trying to stay away from acting now that I'm not a "Performance" major is because of the overabundance of feelings that must be felt.  They're sticky, and they hurt, which is something that I kinda don't want to voluntarily put myself through.  Like I said, theatre people are insane.  However, since my avoidance of acting I've noticed an avoidance of feelings in myself.  Of course I feel, but I also suppress.  Not only are feelings sticky, but other people's reactions to an expression of said feelings are even stickier.  In other words, that stuff's embarrassing, y'all.  The illustrious Goldie Hawn made me realize that things happen to me, and I'm allowed to respond without having to worry about what other people will say.  

~xo~

Hazy Dayz

I've been in a cold-induced haze all this week.  I hate the kind of sickness that doesn't completely discredit me as a functioning human being, but I'm sick enough that any task that I need to do is absolute misery.  Fortunately, it looks like I'm on the upswing of this bug and should be at full capacity in a day or two.  I will say that one good thing has come out of this ickiness, and it will [hopefully] be the subject of my next post!

Until then...xo

The End of an Era

Today was my last day off [weekends included] until Thanksgiving Day.  It's okay, though, because fluffy cow.

Found via Reddit

Peace & Love

Gifts

The people who lived in this house before us left feathers hanging above the back door.  I dig it.  In my mind they've been there for years, and each tenant has left them as a little gift and blessing to the next occupant.  I might be partial because I think this dwelling has the best homey vibe.  ;)

*xo*

You're a Robot

This picture is, by no means, all that great...which is why I had all the fun in the world messing around with it and editing it to death.

Lately I've really been craving wearing clothes that I can't wear to work [not in an inappropriate way, just like dresses and things that show my shoulders].  Unfortunately I work every day of the week, so I don't have weekends to let that side of me express itself.  So it goes.  One day I'll have a job where I can dress how I want [to a certain extent].

Peace & Love

Sparkle!

So, this past spring my academic advisor (and mentor/friend) nominated me for a research conference at our school.  Basically, each college of the university (mine was College of Fine Arts) picks a candidate to represent their area at a conference by presenting a speech about a project they completed in the previous year.  My professor wanted me to speak about the production of The Madwoman of Chaillot that he directed and I acted in.  The speech ended up being something that I hold really dear to my heart.  Not only was Madwoman one of my favorite shows I've ever done (seriously, I've never felt so accomplished), I was able to use it to convey a message to non-artistic-types about the importance of art.  Art in education is something I'm really passionate about, and I'm really glad I was able to express that in some way.  I apologize for the wordiness of this post, but I really want this to be heard.  But before, for your visual delight, here is me being the most fabulous I have ever felt:

Photo belongs to SFASU

This past fall I had the opportunity of a lifetime playing the Countess Aurelia, aka “The Madwoman,” in The Madwoman of Chaillot by Jean Giraudoux.  My personal goal for this production was to show anyone who would listen to me that art of all kinds is important.  The reason The Madwoman of Chaillot was so special was because it served as the perfect platform to draw attention to the necessity of art in life.  After all, Giraudoux wrote this play as a response to the desolation of Nazi occupied France, and it was produced directly after the liberation.  Conversely, the message of The Madwoman of Chaillot revolves around a woman who liberates the world from the hand of pride and greed, making it free for all art and love to flourish.  This is a message that still rings true in society today.  And it's particularly powerful when we take into consideration how the Countess, and we as artists, achieved our task.

The Countess destroyed evil through the practice of four virtues that also just happen to be the tools used in the production of this show.  These virtues are: 

Discipline

Collaboration

Forgiveness 

Sparkle  

Now you're probably wondering who is this crazy person telling us that sparkle is a virtue or useful in any way?  But bear with me, I'll get to it later.

First, the hard stuff.  It can't be denied that theatre is a lot of work, and this production was no exception.  It required extreme amounts of discipline in all areas.  There were 60 pages of dialogue to memorize and comprehend, which meant a neverending cycle of analysis and research to somehow wrap my brain around this crazy woman to the point that I could bring her to life from what Giraudoux wrote on a page over 60 years ago.  And all of that is on top of simply remembering where to stand and what to do with my body, as well as having rehearsals to be on time and mentally and emotionally present for.  Even further, none of that can happen if my body and voice didn't have the stamina to keep up with all of that during a two and a half hour show.  I have never been so physically challenged as I was working on this show.  This woman never stopped moving around!  Everyone in this production had to be mentally and physically fit just to make it to the end.  And that's just the job of an actor, which is one of the easiest jobs in the theatre.  We only have to keep track of all of that stuff for ourselves; people like stage managers and directors have to keep up with all of that for everyone in the cast and crew, which was a little over 40 people for Madwoman.  It's no cake walk, but it's achievable because none of us are in this alone.

Have you ever heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child?”  Well, it takes a village to make theatre happen.  No one person can do all of this alone.  From the very first step of the entire process of this show people were working tirelessly to create the world you see here.  There was one director, one assistant director, six designers, one stage manager, three assistant stage managers, two translators, two dramaturgs, and I could go on but you get the picture.  Putting on a show is daunting, but there's power in numbers.  Everything that I did onstage during this production was not only a reflection of my work but also of all of the directors, stage managers, designers, translators and dramaturgs who put their time and effort into this process.  It was easy to lose sight of that sometimes, and think that nobody else is working as hard as I am.  Or if everybody would just do their jobs then I can do mine.  But all I have to do in those moments is look around me and realize that I am able to say my lines because a team of people worked nonstop on providing us the best English translation possible of this play, and that I was only able to develop my character properly because of the hard work of dramaturgs who filled me in on the historical background of this world, and that I just so happen to be the dead weight that everybody else is dragging across the stage tonight. 

Which brings me to forgiveness.  Probably one of the hardest lessons to learn in the theatre.  The Madwoman of Chaillot would not have been possible if we hadn't used some forgiveness.  Everybody had bad nights or bad days where we were just not on top of our games.  It's those days that we begin kicking ourselves for every little mistake and overcompensating by pushing ourselves to exhaustion.  But one thing I personally had to keep reminding myself of during this show is to forgive myself for not being perfect (because perfection is achievable anyway), and focus on what I can learn from the bad nights.  I couldn't grow as the Madwoman if I didn't forgive myself.  More importantly, we had to forgive each other for being merely human.  If we focus on the mistakes, the production will never be successful.  Mistakes happen.  But when a group of human beings can work together to create something from those mistakes, that is art. 

And last, sparkle.  I've heard it called sparkle, magic, passion, fun.  There really is no single word you can assign to this element.  The quote “Keep in your souls some images of magnificence,” begins to describe the childlike wonder that is necessary for the theatre.  A director told me once that if you're not having fun, then the audience will know.  And they will.  When you go to the theatre or see a work of art or hear music and wonder, “How do they do that?”  Well, discipline, collaboration and forgiveness is HOW we do all of that.  But the real question to be asked is WHY we do all of it.  And that is sparkle.  It's wonder, fun, magic, joy, extreme satisfaction.  It's what makes it all seem so easy when it's actually quite the opposite.  If we didn't have 'sparkle' then all of the discipline, collaboration and forgiveness would be for nothing.  The Countess realized this.  Despite the world calling her a “Madwoman,” she lived bodly, enjoying every step of the way.  If we as theatre people didn't enjoy what we do, we would be insane.  There are plenty of jobs out there that pay far better and are just as much work as theatre is.  But we LOVE what we do.  And that is what theatre is all about.  What makes it all worth it. 

So why is all of this important?  What can be taken from the theatrical process and this prodcution and applied to life?  Well, first off there's discipline.  We can set life goals for ourselves all we want to, but without any kind of discipline we'll never achieve them.  Just as theatre requires a lot of work, life requires a lot of work.  And I don't know about anybody else, but I know I did not get where I am on my own.  Nobody can.  We are not the only ones responsible for our success.  And without a little forgiveness life would be unbearable and close to impossible.  Letting go and forgiving can be hard in any area of life, but we'll never be able to improve and move forward as human beings without it.  And last sparkle.  We can learn from Countess Aurelia's bold approach to life.  It was because of her passion that the world was saved from destruction.  She realized that a life lived without hard work, contribution, forgiveness and passion is not living.  It's just existing.  

Peace, Love & ART

Heat Rising

Things I love about fall...

Warm drinks actually make sense.

Peace & Love

Café au chat

Some days, this boy has the most delectable coffee colored whiskers.  

I realize that most of the pictures I've posted on here so far are of my cats, but I don't care because they're freakin' adorable!  

I also realize I've been on this weird, cliché kick of titles in French.  I don't really know what brought it about, but I'm not gonna fight it because I love French!  I took three years in high school and took to it like a fish to water.  For some reason or another, it came so easily to me.  Regrettably, I kind of gave it up a little when I went to college because I didn't have a lot of wiggle room in my schedule.  One of my life goals has always been to read through the entirety of Gaston Leroux's Le fantôme de l'opéra in French. Maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me I should pick it up again!  Any good free/inexpensive online language tools?  

Peace & Love

La liste de la lune

Tried some new stuff with the editing.

New Moons always feel like a fresh start to me.  I always feel so recharged and full of energy.  Almost like a mini New Year that happens every month.  This past New Moon (on Friday), it dawned on me that I don't really have any short term goals.  Obviously I have the long term goal of finishing my internship, but not going to class every day and having assignments means I don't have little tasks to complete.  I finally get to create objectives for myself just because I want to, not because someone will be there to grade me on my work.  

Since the New Moon feels like a new beginning for me, I decided that every time one occurs I'm going to create a small list of short term goals to complete before the next New Moon.  The list will contain things that just need to happen in general, but also things that will push me to grow as a person.  So, without further ado, here is my first New Moon List:

• Finish putting my room together.  My room is so close to being done, but not quite.  I need to hang some shelves and put my decorations out and it will finally feel like my space.
• Finish Prodigal Summer.  I've been reading an amazing book by Barbara Kingsolver.  I only have a fourth of the book left, but for some reason or another I've been putting it off.  And it's not like I don't have time.  I can take away an hour or two of Pinterest a week and I'll be done in no time.
• Create four new pages in my art journal.  I just stumbled upon the whole concept of art journalling, and I love it!  It's definitely something I need to continue in my life.
• Comment once on each of my favorite blogs.  This goal is probably my hardest.  I'm so shy that I enjoy my anonymity on here, but I need to break out of that.  When I have something I want to say [that's positive] about a post on someone's blog I need to say it.  I fear that it will seem creepy to post on a blog of a person I don't know, but I'll never create any friendships that way.  Otherwise, I'll get stuck in a rut of posting on here but never reaching out. 
• Keep enjoying walks with my LoveDove and taking advantage of every second of this season I can.  This one is a no brainer, but sometimes I have to remind myself to enjoy things while they last.  I can't let busyness consume me.

That's it for this month!  Next New Moon, on November 3rd, I'll be back with a report on how I did with October's list and a new list to tackle before December.

Peace & Love

Solar Flare

The other day my older brother asked me to help him out with a project he's working on.  He's on a team that's in the process of developing a new video game.  They were doing some sort of proposal or another and needed to provide a succinct description of how the game plays.  As nobody on the team could really put into words what the game entailed, my brother called me up to help them out.  He described various aspects of the game to me for about five minutes, and in a little under an hour I had a concise explanation of the game traveling through the interwebs into his e-mail inbox.

This wasn't an uncommon occurrence; I helped my brother write most of his papers throughout middle and high school and wrote all of his college entrance essays where he applied.  This wasn't cheating.  I never came up with anything on my own: I was just able to interpret all of his creative thoughts into prose.  I still help him out every now and then, as showcased in the most recent tag team.  It's never hard, and I usually find it really exciting and relaxing.  When I finished his last request and he texted me to let me know everything was a-okay, an idea dawned on me:

What if I did this for a living?

What if I offered my services as an etymological interpreter of ideas?  Is that even a real job?  I'm not quite sure, but it sounds like something I would be perfectly happy doing.  My internship and my undergraduate career will be complete this coming May, and I need to figure out what I'm going to do with my life after that.  I feel like I'm stumbling upon something that could be definite possibility.  I just need to figure out where to start with something like this.

On a completely unrelated note, I tried to take a picture of me wearing the new shirt my mom bought after work yesterday.  I didn't really capture the shirt very well, but I think I got something better: a sun flare.  Ever since I read an article on A Beautiful Mess about sun flares a year or so ago, I've always wanted to capture one.  I've never been able to until I accidentally got one on my phone's camera.  The pure definition of a happy accident!

Peace & Love

Hump Day, Schlump Day

Wednesdays can be the pits sometimes. 

Those days when there's not enough coffee in the world.  When I can't seem to do anything right.  When my head won't stop reeling after running in a thousand different directions at once.  When I'm not sure what hat I'm wearing at any given moment, if any at all.  When I feel voiceless.  When all I want to do is journal, read and relax, but all of my energy is spent.

So instead, I marvel at how absolutely adorable the Peach is.  How she almost intentionally stayed in the same perfectly sunlit spot making the most adorable poses while I snapped away with my camera.  How she seemed to perfectly express how I'm feeling for one photo.  How she is currently cuddled up at my side, as if she knew that I could use some warm, loving energy.

Maybe Wednesdays aren't so bad after all.

Peace & Love

Perfect Timing

I can finally put out Halloween decorations!  I've practically had to sit on my hands all September long because they were itching to deck EVERYTHING out with pumpkins.  I compromised two weeks ago with a tiny pumpkin that I glued googly eyes on.  His name is Finnegan and he's so excited it's October.  :-P

In all seriousness, today is the official commencement of my favorite holiday season.  We're celebrating tonight with Blue Moon Harvest Pumpkin Ale (the best!) and the first of many showings of Hocus Pocus.  Bette Midler, you can do no wrong...especially when you're a fabulous colonial witch.  If we're up for it we might even throw in Halloweentown, led by the also-fabulous Debbie Reynolds.  Seriously, guys, Halloween is the best.

Today also just so happens to be my love and mine's two and a half year anniversary.  I must say, I sure do love that goofy ginger guy.  My life has been so abundant with joy since he came into it.

Happy October!