Sparkle!

So, this past spring my academic advisor (and mentor/friend) nominated me for a research conference at our school.  Basically, each college of the university (mine was College of Fine Arts) picks a candidate to represent their area at a conference by presenting a speech about a project they completed in the previous year.  My professor wanted me to speak about the production of The Madwoman of Chaillot that he directed and I acted in.  The speech ended up being something that I hold really dear to my heart.  Not only was Madwoman one of my favorite shows I've ever done (seriously, I've never felt so accomplished), I was able to use it to convey a message to non-artistic-types about the importance of art.  Art in education is something I'm really passionate about, and I'm really glad I was able to express that in some way.  I apologize for the wordiness of this post, but I really want this to be heard.  But before, for your visual delight, here is me being the most fabulous I have ever felt:

Photo belongs to SFASU

This past fall I had the opportunity of a lifetime playing the Countess Aurelia, aka “The Madwoman,” in The Madwoman of Chaillot by Jean Giraudoux.  My personal goal for this production was to show anyone who would listen to me that art of all kinds is important.  The reason The Madwoman of Chaillot was so special was because it served as the perfect platform to draw attention to the necessity of art in life.  After all, Giraudoux wrote this play as a response to the desolation of Nazi occupied France, and it was produced directly after the liberation.  Conversely, the message of The Madwoman of Chaillot revolves around a woman who liberates the world from the hand of pride and greed, making it free for all art and love to flourish.  This is a message that still rings true in society today.  And it's particularly powerful when we take into consideration how the Countess, and we as artists, achieved our task.

The Countess destroyed evil through the practice of four virtues that also just happen to be the tools used in the production of this show.  These virtues are: 

Discipline

Collaboration

Forgiveness 

Sparkle  

Now you're probably wondering who is this crazy person telling us that sparkle is a virtue or useful in any way?  But bear with me, I'll get to it later.

First, the hard stuff.  It can't be denied that theatre is a lot of work, and this production was no exception.  It required extreme amounts of discipline in all areas.  There were 60 pages of dialogue to memorize and comprehend, which meant a neverending cycle of analysis and research to somehow wrap my brain around this crazy woman to the point that I could bring her to life from what Giraudoux wrote on a page over 60 years ago.  And all of that is on top of simply remembering where to stand and what to do with my body, as well as having rehearsals to be on time and mentally and emotionally present for.  Even further, none of that can happen if my body and voice didn't have the stamina to keep up with all of that during a two and a half hour show.  I have never been so physically challenged as I was working on this show.  This woman never stopped moving around!  Everyone in this production had to be mentally and physically fit just to make it to the end.  And that's just the job of an actor, which is one of the easiest jobs in the theatre.  We only have to keep track of all of that stuff for ourselves; people like stage managers and directors have to keep up with all of that for everyone in the cast and crew, which was a little over 40 people for Madwoman.  It's no cake walk, but it's achievable because none of us are in this alone.

Have you ever heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child?”  Well, it takes a village to make theatre happen.  No one person can do all of this alone.  From the very first step of the entire process of this show people were working tirelessly to create the world you see here.  There was one director, one assistant director, six designers, one stage manager, three assistant stage managers, two translators, two dramaturgs, and I could go on but you get the picture.  Putting on a show is daunting, but there's power in numbers.  Everything that I did onstage during this production was not only a reflection of my work but also of all of the directors, stage managers, designers, translators and dramaturgs who put their time and effort into this process.  It was easy to lose sight of that sometimes, and think that nobody else is working as hard as I am.  Or if everybody would just do their jobs then I can do mine.  But all I have to do in those moments is look around me and realize that I am able to say my lines because a team of people worked nonstop on providing us the best English translation possible of this play, and that I was only able to develop my character properly because of the hard work of dramaturgs who filled me in on the historical background of this world, and that I just so happen to be the dead weight that everybody else is dragging across the stage tonight. 

Which brings me to forgiveness.  Probably one of the hardest lessons to learn in the theatre.  The Madwoman of Chaillot would not have been possible if we hadn't used some forgiveness.  Everybody had bad nights or bad days where we were just not on top of our games.  It's those days that we begin kicking ourselves for every little mistake and overcompensating by pushing ourselves to exhaustion.  But one thing I personally had to keep reminding myself of during this show is to forgive myself for not being perfect (because perfection is achievable anyway), and focus on what I can learn from the bad nights.  I couldn't grow as the Madwoman if I didn't forgive myself.  More importantly, we had to forgive each other for being merely human.  If we focus on the mistakes, the production will never be successful.  Mistakes happen.  But when a group of human beings can work together to create something from those mistakes, that is art. 

And last, sparkle.  I've heard it called sparkle, magic, passion, fun.  There really is no single word you can assign to this element.  The quote “Keep in your souls some images of magnificence,” begins to describe the childlike wonder that is necessary for the theatre.  A director told me once that if you're not having fun, then the audience will know.  And they will.  When you go to the theatre or see a work of art or hear music and wonder, “How do they do that?”  Well, discipline, collaboration and forgiveness is HOW we do all of that.  But the real question to be asked is WHY we do all of it.  And that is sparkle.  It's wonder, fun, magic, joy, extreme satisfaction.  It's what makes it all seem so easy when it's actually quite the opposite.  If we didn't have 'sparkle' then all of the discipline, collaboration and forgiveness would be for nothing.  The Countess realized this.  Despite the world calling her a “Madwoman,” she lived bodly, enjoying every step of the way.  If we as theatre people didn't enjoy what we do, we would be insane.  There are plenty of jobs out there that pay far better and are just as much work as theatre is.  But we LOVE what we do.  And that is what theatre is all about.  What makes it all worth it. 

So why is all of this important?  What can be taken from the theatrical process and this prodcution and applied to life?  Well, first off there's discipline.  We can set life goals for ourselves all we want to, but without any kind of discipline we'll never achieve them.  Just as theatre requires a lot of work, life requires a lot of work.  And I don't know about anybody else, but I know I did not get where I am on my own.  Nobody can.  We are not the only ones responsible for our success.  And without a little forgiveness life would be unbearable and close to impossible.  Letting go and forgiving can be hard in any area of life, but we'll never be able to improve and move forward as human beings without it.  And last sparkle.  We can learn from Countess Aurelia's bold approach to life.  It was because of her passion that the world was saved from destruction.  She realized that a life lived without hard work, contribution, forgiveness and passion is not living.  It's just existing.  

Peace, Love & ART